the Cost of Funeral Homes

We held a one-day wake (afternoon and evening calling hours) with a funeral the next day. The wake was held in one of the smaller chapels available. We purchased a modest casket, thank you notes, prayer cards, and a book for recording the names of visitors. The funeral home would have coordinated flowers, but we opted to purchase our own through a florist we had used previously and knew well. We also supplied clothing for the deceased, which the funeral home also would have supplied at cost. We did not use limo service for the funeral. Because of the weather, there was no graveside service, instead it was held in a chapel on the cemetery site. Because the person served in WWII, we had members of the armed services present. They did a flag presentation and taps was played. The grave was already paid for back in the 1960s, but we had to pay for opening the grave. The funeral home also handled the inscription on the headstone.

The service was excellent. Every detail was handled excellently. The manager of the funeral home and his staff were kind, they were able to anticipate any problems and head them off quietly, and they were flexible. The night of the wake there was a snow storm. We had visitors who had traveled four hours to get there; they arrived as the wake was over. The staff kept the funeral home open so we could receive these guests graciously. We never felt like they were pushing us out the door. They allowed us enough flexibility to conduct the funeral in our own way, while keeping to their own rules and customs. They made a bad situation the best it could be.

If at all possible, do as much funeral preparation beforehand. It may feel weird to plan a funeral while there is still hope that the person will live; however, the more you can do in advance, the easier it will be for all. You can make decisions more clearheaded and less emotionally. Once the person has died, it is much easier to drive up costs with "dad would have loved that" or "mom deserves better than . . ." If you cannot pre-plan the funeral, then definitely try to be clear with the funeral director what you want and don't allow emotion to dictate choices.